


The Illusion of Fine

by EdosianOrchids901



Series: Plain Simple Prompts [32]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cultural Differences, M/M, Major Illness, POV Elim Garak, POV First Person, Post-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 13:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16220258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdosianOrchids901/pseuds/EdosianOrchids901
Summary: Dialogue prompt: “You shouldn’t have lied, ever consider that?”





	The Illusion of Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a series of ficlets based on dialogue prompts from Tumblr. Written 7/18.

Awareness crashed over me in a dizzying array of sensations. For a moment I floundered, overwhelmed. And then I took a deep breath. Focus, Elim. Focus. 

There was the scent of Tarkalean tea, as familiar to me as my own red leaf. The sound of a soft, mellifluous, soothing voice. And then, most grounding of all… a warm, steady hand grasping my own. 

I opened my eyes now, no longer adrift. “Julian?” I rasped, shocked at how rough my own voice sounded. 

“I’m here, Elim.” He squeezed my hand, and then pressed his fingers against my temple. “Your pulse is a little more even now. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I looked around my shed, completely baffled. “When did you get here?”

“I took a transport as soon as you stopped answering my messages.” There was now a certain clipped note to his voice that I recognized all too well – he was furious with me. 

“I told you not to come.” I tried and failed to push up, and Julian braced a hand against my shoulder to prevent further attempts at movement. “It’s not safe here for anyone who’s not Cardassian. You shouldn’t have come.”

“You shouldn’t have lied, ever consider that?” He took a deep, lengthy breath, trying to calm himself. “You’re an idiot sometimes, Garak. You know that, right? This was stupid.”

“I wasn’t that sick.” My protest was met with an exaggerated eye roll, and I pursed my lips in annoyance. “Julian, I’m perfectly fine.”

“You’re perfectly fine now.” 

“Yes, which tends to support my hypothesis that I wasn’t in that dreadful of shape to start with.”

Something akin to pure rage crashed onto Julian’s face, and I stared at him in shock. I’d only seen that kind of fury from him very rarely, and virtually never directed at me. After a few more shaky breaths, he took my hand in both of his and dropped his head. 

“You almost died.” His voice shook, and I cursed myself for my foolishness. “You were almost gone when I got here, Elim. Barely breathing, your heart rate erratic… you’d contracted a nasty illness, and it almost killed you. If you’d just told me the truth sooner, I could have come and treated you before it got so bad. Or, hell, you could have just asked Dr. Parmak to take a look at you!”

“I didn’t want to trouble anyone.” I closed my eyes, turning my head away. I couldn’t bear to see his distress. “I didn’t think it was serious enough to merit consideration. There’s so many others here who need care far more than I do.”

“You cannot keep thinking like that!” He took a damp cloth, bathing my face almost aggressively. “I know you were trained – practically programmed – to believe that you don’t matter, but you do. You’re important, Garak. You mean so damn much to me, don’t you know that?” 

“You’re going to take my scales off if you aren’t careful with that scrubbing, Doctor,” I deflected. 

“You know what I wish I could do?” He touched my jaw, gently turning my head. “Elim, look at me.”

Despite my reluctance, I obeyed. The poor doctor was already dealing with enough stress, and it would be cruel of me to continue being obstinate. It was a simple enough request. 

Still, I struggled to hold my place. He gazed down at me intently – not accusing, and no longer enraged. Instead, his eyes held a wealth of compassion and tenderness. For some reason, that was far worse. 

With a soft sigh, he caressed my cheek. “What I wish,” he began, “is that I could take this cloth, and scrub away all those things you were taught. I’d give anything to be able to take away all those years of Tain and the Order beating ideas into your head. You’ve been trained to hide when you need help, to always put yourself last, and to sacrifice yourself in service.”

“That is the Cardassian way.” I gave him a sad smile, appreciating his kindness despite my doubts that I could ever undo any of what I’d been taught.

“I know, Elim.” Sighing again, he climbed in bed beside me and rested his head on my shoulder. “Just try not to die because of those beliefs, all right?”

Closing my eyes again, I nuzzled into his hair. “I promise, my dear.”


End file.
